air

I am in the airplane, somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. It’s night outside and I am a little bit confused with the time. It will be 5 hours difference. I am seating in the middle of a boing 747, listening to Suzanne in my laptop. Finally I am crying. I can’t help it… Around me people are sleeping, others watching films in little screens. Lonely and bitter this feeling of being crying in the middle of strangers.

I am in the plane to Lisbon now. I got a seat by the window. In London they are in the terror craziness! Just a bag allowed (impossible!), people walking in the airport without shoes, laptop in my hand… London is foggy and cold. It’s dawn. The plane just crossed the clouds line. Surprisingly the sun is shinning and the clouds bellow reminds a land of ice. By the window it’s warm and that feels so good…

hmmm. Just fall asleep for a bit… We are getting down to Lisbon already. The plane makes an unusual direction and crosses the river, goes until the beginning of the ocean and crosses the river again. It’s all so blue! The airport is in the city, so we flight very close to the buildings. The structures are not very aligned, but the new highways create a new landscape, things I had forgotten about Lisbon and all that is beautiful.



Just got to my parents house a few hours ago. Just eat and talk after driving by the river and ocean. I missed that blue…There’s no wireless internet in Portugal ☹ and I can’t configure my computer to their internet, I don’t know why… anyway I’m too tired to try, I’m using their computer, like that I don’t think I can use Skype... I’ll try tomorrow again. The fireplace is working in the living room by the Christmas tree and that feels comforting, but the house is very cold. Here houses are not prepared for cold… people thinks it’s always sunny and warm but inside it feels colder than Philadelphia. My sister will come soon with the kids, it will be nice to see them, I’m sure they grew up in the last 6 months. That’s so much one misses when being away… My nephew started primary school last october, he’s now 6. She’s 3.

I came to rest in bed but can’t sleep. Listening to Suzanne again… I have a lot to do tomorrow… have to buy the car insurance so I can drive to the city, see the house to rent, see some friends… I feel I need to make a lot of decisions and I’m afraid I can’t find work easily… I just don’t feel prepared to be here…