new year

I started moving into the new place yesterday. It’s such a beautiful house, very good energy, very quiet, it’s feels like countryside not the city; the air is fresh, super-silent! :) I still feel tired from the trip, I still can’t sleep well, still lost in time and space difference... I am landing, first the body, then all the rest… I feel I needed to create my own space after more than a year abroad living in rooms in a foreign city. This house is perfect for my actual state of mind: it doesn’t have any doors or walls as boundaries, it’s all connected. It’s not exactly an open space but all the spaces communicate between themselves in a very organic manner. I feel I’ll read much more here…

Last year I spend the New year’s eve in New York City in a nice party with people I didn’t really know. This year I’m home, a new one, once again. The weather is warm and the river was beautiful today, a little bit foggy in the morning, silver when the sun was shinning. Even that seems out of reality. I mean… for some things is like I’ve never left, but doesn’t sound like real, it’s strange, like I am living in a dream… it seems all my feelings here are activated by subliminal memories, things that I’ve never thought about it for a long time but they are the ones which give me a sense of belonging. I can’t even think about any example to make you (me) understand that, it’s just a general sense. With friends as well, it’s seems we saw each other just yesterday and that is a very good feeling, is the proof that friendship can remain...

About work I don’t have any idea what is going to happen. This week was just to land, spend some time with my family, to move in… I am still trying to understand what I feel – still feeling overwhelmed! It makes more sense I guess. And it’s strange that I am not connected, I mean, online. It will be a delay between my writing and the time you’ll read this. It’s more like a letter, which is not bad necessarily.

As I told you there’s no wireless in Portugal, I mean, not like America – everything is so slow here --today was the second time people thought I was a foreigner, which is funny… and looking at people on the street I think I can kind of understand why. People here look so constrained, so passive, so slow and afraid... I think now my body language expresses a certain awareness that people here find like foreigner. Maybe that’s why I feel I don’t fit here…