What does it mean to be in between? In between what? 2 lines? 2 places? 2 homes? 2 languages? language and silence? nature and culture? is it just 2 different things?
From how many things are we in between? how many things are between us? how big is our world? I mean, our personal world, but also the universe... micro and macro tend to look the same to me. Stars and molecules, all the same. Part of the same flux. I can't isolate a wave from the next one, not from the previous one either... they are all part of the same movement.
If I can not isolate a wave, can I isolate this 'In between feeling' from all the rest around me? The physical world, the sun, the moon, the wind, my life, my experience, my memories, here and there, everywhere, my time, the linear time and my inner time...
where am I?... How can I describe this strange feeling of being out of the map... in between?
I know you understand it, because you feel it too. But I'd like to be able to write down a definition, to put that emotional state in words, even then I know words won't be accurate, they won't sound right. And why do I need a definition anyway?...
My brain wants answers. A life padron commands me and tells me to slow down. Words, answers, stability... is that what I really need? I already know I won't get it anyway. Everything is always changing and yet... this desire to understand and give sense to all these things that cross my mind, my way, my life, my space... as you can see, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.
In one month I will be back to my home country and the feeling of uncertainty grows. At the same time there's also something reasuring about going back. I start to think about the things, persons, places I like there and that feels confortable.
what about you girls? send me words,
how is it for you to be In between?
claudia
No comments:
Post a Comment